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The stormy weather only added to Mark’s uncertainty. “Was this stormy night a foreshadow of a bad things or was it cleansing all the bad energy he experienced this past week?” was all that Chad could think. Though he was unsure, he was not going to let it prevent him from unknown possibilities this night might hold for him.
It was last weekend he had met the young couple he was meeting at the bar called, “The Shack”. It was the local “lifestyle” friendly club. He had gone to it because of its rule to accept everyone in a safe and friendly environment, free of judgments.
Last week, Mark dared himself to go and check out the club alone. Before walking in, he did not know what to expect. He initially thought there would be half naked people swinging and dirty dancing and having sex all on every area of the bar. He knew it was a silly thought, but the idea excited him.
When Mark first walked into the bar, he was pleased at the low-key environment. It was two level, the bottom floor was a modest sized dance floor surrounded but a railing and the rest of the floor had small circle tables and some chairs. Along the walls were several sofas as well. Though there was a dance floor, the music was at a level to allow for conversation and not extremely loud.
Mark then found an open seat at the bar and asked the bartender for a simple drink and stood there letting the ambiance soak in and let his preconceive notions get drown out by reality. Once Mark got his drink from the bartender and paid his tab, he turned to face towards everyone else in the bar.
He saw small groups of people talking, smiling, laughing and having a good time. His first feeling was that he did not belong here. It did not seem like it was that much different than any other bar that he had been to. It took him a little time but he then noticed some coupling was different; he noticed along with the men with women coupling he could also notice women with women, men with men, couples with couples and couples with a third all mixed together.
The idea of people being able to be themselves excited Mark so much that he did not notice the couple right next to him. He then felt a soft tap on his shoulder. This shocked him a little but he slowly turned to see a woman, a little shorter than he standing there smiling at him.
“How are you doing tonight?” she had asked him.
Her smile was so intoxicating to him, all he could do was to return the smile back and say, “Doing well now.” Mark knew that was a shitty line, but that was not his intent to pick her up, but the statement was out there now; there was no taking it back.
“Have you have been here before?” she asked.
“N-no.” Mark responded, “I have been curious about this place for a while now.”
“I thought so. My name is Gillian.” She said. Her voice made had a calming effect on him and excited him a little as well.
“Nice to finally meet you Mark.” This exchange took him off guard as she continued, “Glad you decided to come out.”
“My husband,” she pointed to a man reclining on one of the sofas, who nodded at approvingly to Mark, “and we have been watching you since you came into the bar.”
Mark was taken a little aback by the approach and unsure what was going on and what this was all about. All Mark could muster was almost a blank stare back while continuing to smile at Gillian.
“May you are a quiet one, Mark. Are you alright?”
“I-I am fine.” He said still shocked, confused and unsure what was going on.
“Look, we don’t know where your interest lye, but my husband and I find you attractive and want to get to know you better. Would care to join us? Gillian asked.
To break the silence she then said still smiling, “I hope that did not sound too creepy.”
Mark chucked and a smile returned to his face and he exhaled deeply. “That does not creep me out at all. I would be honored to sit with the two of you”
Mark followed Gillian to the sofa. When they go there, her husband stood and said with a warm smile, “I am John, nice to meet you…”
“This cutie is Mark.” Gillian said finishing the introduction.
“Please have a seat Mark.” John said motioning for him to sit. For the rest of the night the three of them were in conversation. They started to learn more and more about each other. They learned that Mark had bi-sexual interests and had not really acted out on those feeling.
Mark learned that Gillian was the owner of The Shack, in fact she had met her husband at this bar several years ago. John had been a regular here and was well known and liked by many of couples who frequented the bar. The fact was that John was always open to fulfilling everyone’s fantasies and desires.
That night had ended with Mark stating he had to get home as he had an early morning the next day. He had enjoyed the conversation. He felt excited and attracted the both of them. He had hoped they understood and did not think he was backing out of exploring them even more.
Gillian had smiled and opened her arm to give him a hug. As she came in to him, she gave him a soft kiss on the lips. What happened next left him in shock.
As John opened his arms to give him a hug, Mark accepted the hug, and he was the one who started to kiss John. It was not a small peck, but a full on open mouth kiss with their tongues intertwine together in a passionate exchange.
For the past week, so many thoughts passed through Mark’s mind, so many different scenarios on how anything might play out between the three of them.
Mark remembered that as soon as he arrived home, he masturbated several times the kiss he shared with both Gillian and John and the to the thought of spending the night with the two of them.
At the beginning of the week Mark’s fantasies started with him bending Gillian over and rapidly fucking her and by Wednesday night he thought of bending them both over and having sex with the both of them. By Thursday night all Mark could think of was what it would feel like to have both Gillian and John suck him off and the follow it by bending John over, spreading his ass cheeks and fucking his tight asshole until he exploded and then wondered what it would feel like to have John do the same to him and then they could top the night off by them both having sex with Gillian
Now it was Friday, and he was on his way to the club, excited to see how the night would progress and wonder how everything would go down…
Keep your eyes out for Part II which will be out real soon. The heat continues to rise at The Shack.
As I prepare for the CatalystCon East 2014, I was so happy to come across THIS article on a recent study which identified fluidity in sexuality is not reserved only to those who identify as women, but similar results can be found in similar portions on individuals who gender identify (GI) themselves as male. The only difference was GI women, when given one choice of sexual prevalence would choose bisexual over an extreme gay or straight identifier than GI men.
This study went on to show, GI men given a single choice would identify at one extreme or the other; however if the GI male is given the option to choose more than one identifier, a great deal would say predominantly keep the extreme an primary and secondary identify the other as well. This is evidence of evolving sexuality preference in both sexes.
This makes a lot of sense to me, as this idea has been floating around my head for many years now. I grew up in a place and time where men were told they can only be onto women and any deviation from that made you “gay”. The “joke’ (it is not really a joke, but a homophobic stereotype under the guise of humor) by Andrew Dice Clay was that “…either you suck dick, or you do NOT suck dick!!!” I remember hearing that disgusting statement from the time I was in my mid to late teens.
So since my mid to late teens I have lived under the rule in sexuality must be either/or rule than the concept of AND, since “bisexuality is only acceptable for women,” there by leaving me extremely confused about my feelings for all the people around me.
Even back then, I knew I was attracted to women a lot more than I was to men, but I always wondered why, sometimes I would think of men in a sexual way. I did not know how or who to voice this thought as it would place me in a label I did not feel truly represent how I felt or thought The closest socially acceptable way I could voice how I felt to other was adopting the statement when I found a man attractive by starting the statement off with, “I am secure in my sex and masculinity to say that” usually a male actor’s name “was attractive.”
My thoughts and fears concerning homosexuality were even further fortified when Quentin Tarantino’s “Pulp Fiction” came out and I witnessed the brutal rape scene of actor Ving Rhames’ character. The scene did illicit strong emotions of rage, which that scene should, however in my uneducated mind; I equated the attack to homosexuality and not to the viciousness and savageness of the rapist’s actions. This left me even more confused and angry at myself for so many years for being so ambiguous with my feelings to everyone to include myself. This anger at myself stayed with me up to and including the first time I was raped about 10 years ago.
Now back to the article, I feel people should not be limited to a single identity. I do not fit the same mental thought patterns I did yesterday let alone 20, 10 or even five years ago. Then why should our sexual identities be any different. Place that with the de-stigmatization of anal sex as studies are finding the greater population (both men and women) are enjoying the act in greater numbers (READ MAY 2013 SURVEY RESULTS HERE) without associating it to a homosexual act.
So from this point on, when I am asked about my sexual orientation, the only identifier I will now provide is that I am “sexual”. That does not mean I want to have sex with every person, a generality like that would equate if I identified as only heterosexual, I would have sex with every female and the exact opposite if I identified homosexual. To those people I would remind them everyone has standards and likes and dislikes and free choice (with consent) to be sexual with the gender they so choose to be with at that moment,
I have to give a lot of thanks and CREDIT once again to the wonderful Sabrina Morgan (@SabrinaMorgan) for this epiphany. She was the one who provided me the link to the study on anal sex not being identified as “gay sex” and started my journey on DR. JUSTIN LEHMILLER web-site “The Psychology of Human Sexuality” (http://www.lehmiller.com/welcome/) site and I read about the idea of sexual fluidity in men as well.
So let me say this to you now Sabina, thank you!!! I love you for all that you have done for me this year. Also a BIG THANK YOU to Dr. Lehmiller, your studies are having an impact so keep up the great work.